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    Tuesday, May 31, 2016
    Three and a half years later REVELATION. 9:44 AM

    First of all, thank You God for the results. I always want this to be my first response; if possible, my first reaction even. For there is no one else responsible; and more importantly, no one else worthy of adulation.

    You give and take away, blessed be the Name of the Lord

    I tried my best to be mentally prepared for the worst, but, like it or not, I held that tiny hope within me that things would be good in the end - good simply meaning that I would feel good seeing the SMS. But, when was life all about feelings anyway? Does feeling bad give you the excuse to deny God's grace and power?

    Results time. First glance - heart goes through a mini rollercoaster. Happy for the first two; bittersweet for the next two; and a tiny laugh combined with a tiny cry for the last. Funny, I thought, that the very result for that module in my dream became reality. Didn't I ask God for anything above that grade? What do I make of it now?

    Here I must add that these thoughts become clearer on hindsight; whether or not these thoughts had actually run so clearly through my head, I will never know. But what I do know now is that my brain has given me this stream of conscious thought so powerful, that I am compelled to pause my work and type this out. At 11am. On a cloudy Monday morning of my craziest week yet.

    My next notable response was to find a CAP calculator online and see what I had to (ha, does one really have to?) achieve in my final two semesters. Okay, this is what I have to do. It's possible right? I proceeded to write this goal (requirement?) in my phone. I paused. Am I setting worldly standards for myself? Hasn't God taught me that, the less I worry about my results, the more at peace I am? I was never one to set grade standards for myself at the beginning of the semester. Mainly because I usually get a better sense of what I could achieve as the semester went on, and I don't want to impose unnecessary pressures for myself when I had nothing to expect.

    Why am I desiring these grades? Can I truly say that - without a single doubt - I want it for God's glory? Or do I, deep down in my heart of hearts, want it for myself? Masters chances, starting salary, pride. I feel uneasy, uncertain. I search for an answer. It came, quietly but surely - it doesn't mean that things for God's glory shouldn't make you happy at the same time. Yet, there are things for His glory that may leave you a little bruised at that moment. Ask yourself then, what is your real intention? Do you want it for your happiness more than you want it for His glory? More importantly, are you happy because of the thing itself, or are you happy because God is glorified more than you are? For now, I am calmed.

    Search my heart and know me, O Lord.

    Funny how the Social Work module that I was most looking forward to was my worst scoring one in my entire university life thus far. Although I was half expecting it, I had that tiny hope. I prayed and asked. Would I say that God has answered my prayer? Yes. But not in the way that I expected. Sometimes, we demand that God's answer to our prayers must be what we have envisioned, just the way we like it. Oh, how myopic and foolish you are, child.

    “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts."

    When you ask for God to meet your needs, do you expect to receive food, or do you expect a Ferrari sports car? Human flesh is never fully satisfied. We make our wants our needs, and our needs our entitlements.

    I have no perfect answers. We hardly ever do. What we do have is His still small voice speaking to us, guiding us through life's journey.


    Hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees?


    Tuesday, January 29, 2013
    Amos 3:3 REVELATION. 9:39 PM


    "Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?" Amos 3:3


    Saturday, January 05, 2013
    Uno REVELATION. 12:17 AM

    2012 had been a fruitful year, I would say. Not only did it mark the end of my tertiary education but it was all the little things combined that made it a rather good year. From the school experience - PDP, orientation, class, graduation, A's - to the family one - holidays and discovering new places together - it has surely been a year to remember.  Most importantly, outranking all of the above, I believe that I drew closer to God than I've ever been, and I'm growing closer each day.

    As I type this right now I highly doubt my ability to remember all the interesting events of the year, but I would try my best and add on to the list as the days go by (as I say this I know deep down that this is highly unlikely). My mind is currently abuzz with thoughts about the future rather than the past; perhaps the hour of reminiscing was left behind as soon as the clock struck 12 four days ago. But I have to do this for old time's sake and also because I know it's possible to procrastinate till you forget what is really important. So here goes! I shall enlist the help of social media to jolt some memories hahaha.

    1) Expedition '12 :D OG 8 VEGA BAIK!
    2) CIP collecting newspapers and Mr F treating us to Pizza Hut afterwards :)
    3) Soup Kitchen CIP - really an insightful experience visiting old flats and talking with residents
    4) First ever Mardi Gras in TJ! 
    5) IFC <3 and="and" chamber="chamber" deep="deep" discussion="discussion" div="div" duties="duties" e.g.="e.g." in="in" interviews="interviews" lol="lol" meetings="meetings" we="we" were="were" where="where">
    6) Handover!
    7) Joined Instagram
    8) Reverie dance concert at NUS - backstage passes ;)
    9) TJ Drama's GWH performance *whistles* but it was rather complex.
    10) Our NEmation clip (Building the Future With Our Hands) was sent for the 2012 Taiwan International Children's Film Festival!
    11) Bro's graduation (although I couldn't attend :( )
    12) Ex-Pres SR Nathan in TJ! What a lovely recollection of the past and his candid views on the present.
    13) Jayesslee at HOGC and meeting XE's CG! :) God indeed works in wonderful ways.
    14) Top 3 BA/GP - God's grace and for His glory alone.
    15) JTS and seeing the weird puke on the floor after we left the restaurant o:
    16) Random doodling game in school with Jo
    17) London Olympics - Daley, Lin Dan, Bolt, Boll, Boudia, FTW & Singapore's double bronzes :D
    18) Changi Cottage
    19) JB and KSL trip with family; the surprise visit to The Church @ JB and meeting Pastor Jeremy Seaward 
    20) Science demonstration in LT1 where the aftermath smelt like sulfur and fire
    21) New passport! (I haven't managed to clear the Biometric system in one try, let's hope I can this year)
    22) Archuleta's Forevermore direct from the Philippines :)
    23) Nandito Ako
    24) CG Bonding and Swensen's after!
    25) The Wanted at the Max Pavilion LIVE and #TWFanmily :)
    26) Doesn't really concern me directly but... Another AHS team in the Top 10 of NEmation YES. 
    27) Visiting NEmation production: seeing Mr El, Mr Joshua (my new wingman!) and Ms Hazel again :) Lovely memories.
    28) Graduation Day - concert, final lunch outside 85, Looper... TJ FTW.
    29) AIG Aus + UK openhouse and then a stumble-upon visit to the Red Dot's design exhibition which had superb hor d'oveuvres
    30) The Talk
    31) F1 2012 - Club Suite at the Paddock, Maroon 5 and Jay Chou live (both smashing, btw) :)
    32) Started on The Listener. Love the jokes and mind-reading situations Toby always gets stuck in.
    33) A's. Such great strength coming from the Lord above. I'll never forget the times He comforted me and lifted me up above the mountains although I felt like giving up so many times. Indeed, let this victory be for YOUR glory alone, God. 
    34) Food - Discovering Daniel Ong's Twelve Cupcakes and Cookies For Sid, Blend It! and Yami Yoghurt
    35) First (and last) viral infection (I thank God that I rarely get sick) whereby I met Dr Jeff after 10 years and pus spewed out of my eye. But of course, God healed me completely, amen :)
    36) Lewis to Mercedes - we shall see how that plays out.
    37) Bio lessons with Mrs L. This made the list because she's really a great teacher - scary at times but deep down, a really caring and motherly figure. Her lessons peppered with lame jokes, consistent (and definitely useful) 'nagging', sweets and questions. Thank you, Mrs L.
    38) Uni prospects - UCAS, UC, Common Aps, SAT, essays...
    39) PSC Internship! By the grace of God :) And the opening ceremony whereby I met D after a long while! Trip to the ISD Heritage centre was one of the best Learning Journeys I've been on. And the biscuit incident... gosh we laughed so hard.
    40) TTSH Induction selection
    41) X Factor umbrella LOL
    42) Prom and the sleepover with L and XE!
    43) Book fair with 15 books whee :)
    44) BELLA (e.g. toilet bowl incident)
    45) Welcoming the Lions XII (aka Suzuki Cup 2012 champs hahaha) at the airport (somewhat by chance)
    46) Christmas BBQ with the gals, first time starting and maintaining fires for us ;) Somehow the food was the best by far.
    47) Christmas at HOGC with new friends Van, Jo and Joan!
    48) Obama!
    49) Actually voting for XF online hahaha
    50) Being called by Mr S using a mic - in front of the whole hall pfft
    51) Finally touching novels again after a two year hiatus (TIME was indeed time consuming)
    52) Meeting my mynahs
    53) 1 Dec :)
    54) Post A's buzz!
    55) Driving here we gooooo
    56) Witnessing the aftermath of an attack
    57) Counting down in Penang with fireworks, firecrackers and a Malay countdown
    58) God's calling and strength - how He taught me to grow in faith more each day :) <3 div="div">

    Shall add on if I remember more! Till then, adios.


    Monday, December 31, 2012
    He Goes Beyond The Years REVELATION. 11:27 PM

    Psalm 100:4-5

    4 Enter His gates with thanksgiving,
    and His courts with praise!
    Give thanks to Him; bless His name!

    5 For the Lord is good;
    His steadfast Love endures forever,
    and His faithfulness to all generations.

    The Alpha and the Omega; Who is and Who was and Who is to come, the Almighty. Revelation 1:8



    Sunday, December 30, 2012
    Eve of the Eve REVELATION. 11:57 PM

    Five minutes till we're on the cusp of a brand new beginning.

    Probably won't be able to do my traditional year end post tomorrow but I'll try to fit one in for old time's sake. It'll be my second New Year overseas and first in the neighbouring land!

    Mi casa es su casa.

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    Friday, June 08, 2012
    He Came To My Rescue REVELATION. 11:41 PM

    Does not the bird have every right to start a family nest? Does not the ant deserve a respite from its torturous tasks? Does not the lion have to fight for its mate? 

    Just like how the stormy waves crash against the shore, so did certain feelings overwhelm me and threaten to pull me under. But just like how any storm will pass and any wave will recede, so too the feelings washed by, leaving behind a calmer, stronger me.

    Such feelings are impalpable and I'm sorry to say that I've let it take control of me many times. It tears at me from the insides and threatens to suck my being, my purpose, my joy. But hey, don't we all face situations in life which try to tear us down? What do we do then?

    I'm slowly trying to accept it. To accept where I am today, to accept each situation as it comes. I admit that I overreact many times and my imagination runs wild, faster and more crazily than I'd ever imagine. But as the feelings ebb away and my mind is restored to logical, rational thinking, I realise that the worse is only how you imagine it to be. Why bother thinking about the 'What Ifs' when they are currently just that - 'Ifs'?

    So I'm learning to be content with what/whom I have and rejoice in the Lord each day. Well, knowing me, I always tie everything back to Christ. When I face the buffeting winds and the stormy seas, I know just who to turn to - God! I admit each day I disappoint Him, and today especially so because it festered. I don't usually allow that, but today I admit was what some will call "A Bad Day". But I just kept on praying, kept on crying out to Him to save me from all of these insecurities that threatened to break me down. But God constantly reminds us that He cannot change us if we are unwilling to change ourselves in the first place.

    So, dear Daddy: I will do my best to change. To not let it get the better of me. To rejoice in what/who you have given me, and to have a positive outlook on life. To spread Your Word, even in my attitude; in my actions.

    I'm writing this here as a reminder to myself that with Christ as my Anchor, I can stand steadfast despite the storms and troubles. I'm also writing this to encourage whoever who's reading this to not lose hope. Whatever you're facing, whatever the struggles... Remember that all storms end eventually. Just be strong and cling on to the sturdiest Rock. Besides, He has given us the authority to cast mountains into the sea in His Name and receive blessings by faith (Mark 11:23-24), so why fear the obstacles in our path?

    My Twitter Bio reminds me this as well.

    The Girl Who Can't Be Moved In Her Faith,
    KC.




    Monday, March 26, 2012
    REVELATION. 7:13 PM



    Just watched Nandito Ako (in two days) and I really like it. The song is really emotional and this is the best video which has translation and nice pictures (haha); the only bad thing is that it's live and there're fans cheering in the background. The studio version is of course more heartfelt. But still, great song by David Archuleta :) #DA2014!

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